A HAPPY PLACE

We’re all striving to reach some ideal place in life that we can call happiness. It could be financial stability, a legacy, or wealth for some of us. For others, it could be a family, an adventurous life, a happily-ever-after, etc. Unfortunately, happiness is a human issue that is rarely brought up. Instead, we focus on the sad parts. Ever heard the saying, “do what makes you happy, and you will be happy?” Though it may sound like an easy equation, it’s not so easy in all actuality. Why is that?

We act on a greater plane of thought. Most, if not all, of these thoughts, derive from a lower baser instinct. Usually, we would be able to suppress these thoughts with the help of little voices in our heads that are supposed to guide us and keep us out of trouble, but perhaps, they are doing their job too well.

THE WORLD DOESN’T OWE YOU

Do you feel like you’re missing out? Do you sometimes feel left out or left behind? How often do you blame someone else for feeling that way before you look in the mirror? Do you like what you see in the mirror? Do you feel entitled? 

Entitled? Yes, entitlement may be the underlying issue. Before you ask why you aren’t happy, how about asking yourself why you think you deserve to be happy? Or better yet, what have you done to deserve feeling happy. If you are coming up short with legitimate answers or reasons, then maybe it’s time you realize that the world doesn’t owe you anything. 

Think back to the last movie you watched? Did it have an obvious storyline? Were you able to guess the ending? What happened to the good guys? What about the bad guys? Who won? Was there a twist? Whether we like to admit it or not, we have all lived the idea of being the main character of our own stories. As pretentious as that is, let’s roll with it.

YOU MIGHT NOT BE A GOOD PERSON

Now, if someone was to be watching you on the big screen, how would they classify you? Would they classify you as the superhero type, good guy? Or the antagonist, evil villain? Now ask yourself, in your mind, are you a good person? Do you act in the best light possible? Be honest with yourself. Remember that nobody is perfect, and quite frankly, being good doesn’t make anyone perfect. However, there are levels to being “bad.” For example, drinking your roommate’s last beer doesn’t exactly put you on the same tier as someone who intentionally kicks a puppy, (…Well, some might consider it the same.)

Are you a Cheater, Home-Wrecker, or a Spiteful person? Does Greedy, Selfish, Self-righteous, Angry, or Jealous seem fit to you? The truth of the matter is no one is guaranteed happiness. It is never deserved. The world doesn’t owe happiness to you, to me, or to anyone else for that matter. Put it this way… happiness is not a privilege but a reward that we earn through actions that result in a clear conscience.

Friend, it’s time you stop lying to yourself. It’s human nature to try and come up with reasons and explanations for why we did what. Everyone wants some justification for their actions. “Because she made me angry,” or “I wasn’t getting what I wanted from the relationship, so i…” or “I did it for who or what.” These are called excuses. Perhaps, you could look at it this way. Those who are justified never blame others because they don’t need to. Instead, they take responsibility for their actions and learn from their mistakes.

MISERY LOVES COMPANY

Maybe what I have written above does not apply to you, and you’re a special kind of person. Perhaps you’re the kind of person that enjoys the jazz and feeds off the drama. You may even get a kick out of being unhappy. Or maybe not, but you know those kinds of people. The type of people who always have and always will complain about every little thing. To them, they believe the world revolves around them so much that the suffering they endure must be some cosmic play, and the whole world must indeed feel their pain.

These people are dangerous and should be avoided or dealt with caution. These people will try to convince themselves and others that whatever reason or belief they have is correct, and that is all that matters. If you have anyone like this in your life, don’t entertain them. Cut ties or try to keep a safe distance from them. When you cut them off, they will try to make you and others feel as if you “wronged” them. 

GAINING A CLEAR CONSCIOUS

True happiness is earned. The ability to go to sleep soundly and wake up happy is a gratifying thing. When was the last time you woke up in complete contentment and peace? Try to find your way back to that. The idea of a clear conscience is pretty self-explanatory. A clear conscious is a mind free from doubt of ourselves, our actions, situation, and relationships. Doubt frequently causes us to overthink and act recklessly and destructively.

So what causes these doubts that cloud our minds? Anything and everything that happens in life that brings us discomfort. We, as human beings, are perhaps hardwired to doubt. It is, after all, an important factor in our survival and evolution. But because of our lifestyles, we’ve turned everyday interactions into “survival.”

We have moved away from those once ancient instincts. We now have an odd mesh of social media intertwined with real life. In other words, instead of using our doubts for hunting and surviving, it has changed to doubting our place in the world, our position in society, and our status on social media. Make no mistake that these are natural forms of doubt. As much as the world of the internet is genuine to people nowadays, we live in a world that is quickly falling helplessly to the ever-growing issues of doubt.

THE TECHNIQUE

So then, how do you get rid of doubt? Ironically, you cant. First, take a deep breath. (Don’t roll your eyes.) Just do it. Take a deep breath. Drown out everything around you (find yourself in a quiet place for just a few seconds). Now think of something that gives you doubt.

Ask yourself about whatever is giving you doubt. Is it a pressing matter that will cause you harm? If you don’t solve it, will it kill you? If it won’t kill you, do you then have the time to solve the matter? Yes? Good. Then, why are you worrying about it? Release that pressure of anxiety, fear, or doubt that’s holding you down. Stop letting it consume you.

On the other hand, let’s say you’ve been procrastinating. Is the problem almost due? Can you solve it within the small amount of time you have left yourself? If you have a guaranteed way to solve the issue, why worry? On the other hand, if you can’t do anything about it and you’ve exhausted all your options, then what is there to worry about? Of course, you can always beat yourself over the head for one failure, but how about you try “forgiving” yourself this time?

Take a deep breath. Acknowledge that everyone makes mistakes. Promise yourself that you can, and you will do better. Find where the mistakes were made and try to fix them. Many times it’s easier said than done, but with diligence and the right amount of effort, you’ll find out that you are capable of growing at a fantastic rate.

If it’s people giving you doubt or drama, ask yourself, “What is this person contributing to my life?”, “Do I need them, or can I survive without them?” More than likely, if you’re honest with yourself, that is, you’ll conclude with the correct answers. This brings us to the hard part, Acting on your beliefs.

THE WILL TO ACT

Once you know how to shut the door to doubt, then you can make the next move. Another enemy to happiness is inaction. Everyone wants to change. But we form a habit of doubt, and we spiral downward into a never-ending pit of despair. It may sound a bit over the top, but many people who have dealt with the fall have described it similarly, so I guess that there is some level of truth behind it.

We let doubts disable us, which leads us to curse and regret our circumstances. You should never feel that you are trapped or can’t do something. “The hardest choices require the strongest wills” -Thanos. Now, no one is telling you to become or think like Thanos. But the guy makes a valid point, and we can learn from it.